Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
