Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
