After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
