Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
