If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
