I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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