I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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