He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
