It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
