We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
