i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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