If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Found the puke drawer
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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