it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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