now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
