My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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