Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
