I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
