Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
