Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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