Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
