babies were throwing up all over the place
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
