Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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