Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable

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(607): View more from New York

people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night

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(408): View more from California

Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me

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(951): View more from California

Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.

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(954): View more from Florida

I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.

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(819): View more from Quebec

What the fuck were you guys talking about?

(1-819): View more from Quebec

Lube wrestling.

(819): View more from Quebec

Oh, makes sense.

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