The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
