My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
