It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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