I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
