Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he thought i was a dude.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
