i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
