i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
