My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize