Three words: puerto rican gang bang
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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