OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
