I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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