I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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