Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
