yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
