Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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