He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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