I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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