I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
