Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
