My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize