she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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