I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I looked at my own cervix.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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