we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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