There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
