quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
