my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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