i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
ttyl tear gas
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize