They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's never too late to be topless.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize