So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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