the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I would ride that face into the sunset
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize