Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
