did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
