i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
