it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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