it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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