thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
