her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
